Do you ever find yourself wanting to avoid uncomfortable emotions? Do you feel as if sometimes they can be too painful to experience? Our emotions are often very heavy to manage and move through.
However, emotions are important parts of experiencing our lives, moving forward, learning from them and growing. Each emotion is here for a reason. It shows up just like an unwanted guest in your house. But, our emotions, each of them as they show up are opportunities to tackle the message hiding behind them.
As uninvited guests, these emotions often show up at the most inconvenient times. They require us to pause. This pause is an enormous opportunity in deciphering and deconstructing the emotion itself, as we allow it to run through us.
As your experience this in your own life, I encourage you to bring attention to each emotion that appears. There are invaluable insights attached to each one. Paying attention to the emotion and the insight behind it can lead to more understanding of our lives, more information about a situation or experience and more knowledge perhaps on how to act or move forward.
Here are some helpful ways to move through your own emotions:
First, we much acknowledge the emotion that we are feeling. Sometimes this takes time to be able to do, either because it is unwanted and we are avoiding it, or it is just not clear. Give yourself time. With the gift of time, you will be able to acknowledge and label what you are feeling.
After we have acknowledged the emotion, the next step is to accept it. It is what it is and there is not much we can do about that. Acceptance allows us to step into the feeling and learn more about why it is showing up for us. Acceptance is a crucial part of the emotional process.
Lastly, ask yourself what is this experience here to teach me or show me? How can I learn from this as I move forward? Life is full of wonderful experiences, even the emotional ones. When we look at these situations in this way, we give ourselves the opportunity to grow.
I do not enjoy flying. When I get ready to take a trip, I get anxious and unenjoyable to be around. I also become very emotional. I have become adept at seeing this pattern and acknowledging these emotions that I feel prior to a trip. I still don’t like to travel, but I try to bring some comfort to myself and how I am feeling. I acknowledge what my feelings and emotions are, and then work hard to accept them. This does not mean that they will not show up again in my life. It is just clear to me that I need to be very compassionate with myself as I get closer to a trip and find methods to approach and cope with these emotions. Each time I fly, I learn a little bit more about myself and a more effective way that I can handle the experience and the emotions that come with it.
When you find yourself wanting to avoid uncomfortable emotions, I hope you will try to engage in this three-step practice. For more information or help along your parenting journey, please feel free to email me at Sue@decaroparentcoaching.com.
